Are you a hugger? or a non-hugger? | Footnotes and Finds

Wednesday, 2 November 2016

Are you a hugger? or a non-hugger?

Within my short time of being on earth thus far, I have come across all types of people. And let me tell you there are huggers and non huggers. The half huggers? They fit in with the non huggers, the half hug is the obligated "I have to hug the person but don't really want to". Just within our family we have people all over the spectrum when it comes to huggers.

Generally speaking, my father's side of the family is known as the "non huggers" and my mother's side of the family is considered "huggers".  I also need to had in a small caveat here, my family is of Punjabi background. And Punjabi's are known stereotypically as really affectionate people who love to party, laugh, hug, kiss you on the cheek etc. But note the word stereotypically, because in my understanding and experience thus far, I feel that the whole "hugging" and showing affection in this manner really matters what side of the rivers you are from in Punjab. An exemplar of this is clearly my Punjabi family.

To give some context here: My father's side is from an area within Punjab known as Malwa, more specifically near the city of Ludhiana, in Punjab India. Whereas my mother's side of the family is from an area known as Majha, near the city of Amritsar in the India side of Punjab and near the city of Lahore in the Pakistan side of Punjab. And let me tell you - they are quite different culturally when it comes to many things. In fact the dialect they speak of Punjabi is very different as well, so sometimes there are cases of them not even understanding words from the other place. So in this plays in the whole "hugging" people thing.

My mother's side? Major huggers. You hug when you greet one another, You hug a "aunty" that your mom somehow knows and you have never met, You hug when you are leaving. You hug every guest that is already sitting in the living room at the function you are invited at but have show up a little late to.  Hugs and kisses on the cheek from your grandmother - yep very common! Random hugs? yep there are tons of those too! Birthday hugs, thank you hugs, feel better hugs - hugs all around!

My father's side? Major non-huggers! (well except for my dad - he loves hugs).  They have their own way of showing affection. You greet one another - but no hugging required. In fact - hugging is really awkward for them.  Birthday hug? nope - makes it really awkward! But speak about your feelings and emotions? yes - there is lots of that! Discuss your weird ideas? yep lots of that too. So therefore, even if they are not huggers, they have other lovely ways of connecting!

Me? where do I fall on this spectrum? I'm a hugger. Although I prefer to receive hugs than give hugs.  Hugs to me, from the right person,  make me feel so much better. Let's just say I usually need a hug a day. The best hugs for me are from Prabh, my mom and my dad.  I also hug when I greet people. But to be honest those are usually half hugs, unless I know you really well! But this hugging thing took a while to grow on me to be honest. Growing up I was not much of a hugger. I would find it super awkward. But somehow and somewhere in my adult life I have come to love hugging and not thinking much of it. I also am usually able to gage, what people are more open to receiving hugs.  

Honestly for me, I get it, there are huggers and non-huggers and that's okay! We all have our own ways. I think living in such opposite spectrums of ways of showing affection just within my family has really informed my understanding of this. Prabh and me? we are huggers.  My two younger sisters? not much of huggers. Especially my youngest sister. But again they have their own ways of showing affection :)

Anyways, who knew I can write so much about the topic of hugging.  

What about you? Are you a hugger? or a non-hugger/half-hugger? 



  1. I am definitely a hugger, although I do understand how some people feel uncomfortable with it :]

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  2. I feel like it all depends on my level of comfort for me. I'm Latina, and I feel supper comfortable kissing everybody on the cheek and giving people hugs when I'm with my immediate family, just because it's custom. However, I sometimes tend to shy away from hugs in other social situations. This was a great read, and it really made me think about the ways I show affection.

    Sweet Helen Grace

  3. I think I'm a hugger unless I'm unsure of the other person and then I won't hug...just in case they are a non.

  4. I think I've always been a hugger. Working as a Healthcare Assistant, we see a lot of patients and their families who just need a bit of a hug from time to time - I love showing affection for people, especially in times of need x


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